Being a mom and wife is hard.
Really hard on some days. (Or maybe all of them.)
But we still want to be the best mom and wife we can be because, quite frankly, we care about our families. We want them to succeed. We want them to be happy. And we know that one way we can help with that is to be a better mom and wife.
Will These Things Actally Help Me to Become a Better Mom and Wife?
You’ve read a bajillion articles on the internet about being a better mom and magically “fixing” your family.
Well, let me tell ya, I’m not here to do that.
None of the things listed below are quick fixes. Momhood doesn’t work like that. Neither does being a wife. These things take time and need refinement little by little. We’re talking about how drops of water make up the ocean.
What I can tell you is that I believe that if you apply these things over time, they will probably make a difference for you. They’re not a quick fix, but slow and steady wins the race.
Just pick one point and practice it. Things will improve overtime.
1. Praise the good
One key way to be a better wife and mom is to praise the good, even if it’s small. When your sweetheart or child does something well (or even just something kind), notice and appreciate it.
By praising the good, you reinforce that good behavior. Also, actively noticing good things improves your view of both your spouse and your child[ren]. Having their good behaviors noticed and reinforced can also help to improve the way they view themselves.
However, praising the good doesn’t mean recognizing that a child or spouse is something. It means recognizing that they are becoming something. This is REALLY important. Listen to what Carol Dweck, a renowned researcher on Praise, has to say about types of praise in this video below:
So make sure you praise efforts, NOT intelligence. That will seriously help you to become a better mom and wife.
And hopefully they will catch on and appreciate your efforts to be a good parent (and spouse).
2. Do the Little Things to Show Your Love
It’s the little “I love you” with a hug or the simple “You are wonderful” sent via a text that can make all the difference for someone. Not only do these little things enable your family to feel more loved, but doing them also reinforces the love you personally feel for those close to you. That’s important when you want to be a better mom and wife!
It’s true that when feelings have been hurt, it can be extremely difficult to reach out in love, especially if the other person is the one at fault. Withholding love can seem like a just recompense.
However, there is a reason that the saying “Love conquers all” hasn’t faded or disappeared throughout the centuries.
Doing little things to say “I love you,” in spite of mistakes and challenges, can repair most relationships when done over time. I can’t tell you the number of times my spouse or my parents and I have argued, but it has been resolved because one of us was willing to say “I love you,” even if they weren’t the one at fault.
That doesn’t mean that you don’t have conversations about issues and how to improve things. But it does mean that in most circumstances, you make your relationships more important than disagreements and mistakes.
3. Listen and Communicate
All too often, the difficulties our spouse and children face go unheard for far too long, and it’s easy to feel frustrated about their shortcomings without realizing the challenges they are facing. If you want to be a better wife and mom, it’s important to take the time to communicate with them and ask questions about how they are doing. You might be surprised at what you learn.
Oh, and when you ask, really listen. Don’t lecture them. Nobody needs a lecture! Just listen.
I recently discovered that unbeknownst to me, my husband was facing some difficulties at work that had contributed to higher stress levels. When I finally took the time to really listen and talk with him, I found out about it. Suddenly I had much more compassion for some of the grumpiness he’d exhibited at home.
4. Take Time to Be Silly
I wanted this point on here because nobody is harder to connect with than a workaholic, and that includes moms and wives.
So be silly! Have fun. Sit on a whoopie cushion. (Wait, did I write that out loud?) Try out the hilarious family card game “Kids Against Absurdity” (There are a couple of kid potty humor cards in this deck, so please take them out if that makes you uncomfortable. But the rest of it is simply hilarious, clean fun).
Tell jokes and make up a story. Just do it. Nobody gets to the end of their life and says “Wow, I really wish I had laughed less.”
Just be silly with your family, and you’ll realize in no time that it is helping you to be a better mom and wife. And while you’re thinking about being happy with your family, check out my other article 11 Joys of being a Mom. That should at least help you to smile.
5. Make a Plan That Works for You
It can be easy to feel bad about organization, because most people think they “just aren’t organized enough.”
I’ve felt like a failure in this category before because hour by hour planning hasn’t worked for me. However, making an hour by hour plan is just ONE way to be organized; there are great ways that YOU can be organized in your own personal way.
It might be a a to-do list, an hour-by-hour schedule, or blocks of time. Make a plan, and if you are religious, ask God for help.
One of my favorite things is to pray for help to make a plan, make it, and then close by consulting with God about it. More often then not, I will have an additional idea for how I should re-work my schedule pop into my head (even if it’s just a reminder to add something more or remove something from my to-do list).
As I’ve tried to be organized, I’ve discovered that this planner from Amy Knapp works really well for me where other planners didn’t (I have the 2021 – 2022 planner; the one in the link is for August 2022 – December 2023).
If you (like me), have a little one, and part of your challenge is figuring out how to get things done with a baby, check out my article 47 Ingenious Ways to Get Things Done With a Baby.
6. Take Time to Recharge
Many of us are familiar with the idea of sharpening the saw from Covey’s incredible book 7 Habits for Highly Effective People, but few of us take the time to do it.
Let yourself have hobbies. Give yourself time for you. Let yourself recharge. It sounds selfish, but it shouldn’t be. Humans need to recharge to function, and I promise that it IS possible to take care of your family AND have time to nurture yourself the way that you need.
I’m not saying to be selfish. Recharging by developing your talents can bless others and help you to be a better mom and wife. Additionally, it helps you to take a break and regain your mental sanity. Your family deserves a you who is happy and well-balanced, and YOU deserve a you who is happy and well-balanced too.
If you want to keep reading and get a boost, check out some of my other articles designed to help moms recharge and recover:
- 37 Most Inspirational Mom Quotes for Overwhelmed Moms
- 11 Most Beautiful Joys of Being a Mom
- 10 Ways to Get Closer to God
7. Make God a Priority
I believe that basically if you choose God, everything else will fall into place. You’ll be a better mom, a better wife, and frankly, a happier person.
I don’t know why, completely. But I do know that when I focus on God and Jesus Christ, I am a better person. And I know that when I keep my promises to God, it allows Him to bless me and give me power to do hard things (including doing laundry for the gazillionth time).
And that power helps me to become a better mom and wife.
I become more me with God in my life. I become a momma bear; courageous, kind, good, and strong.
And you can too.
Concluding Thoughts About How to Be a Better Mom and Spouse
That concludes our list for today; but I hope that you’ve learned something of value to you. I think the biggest secret to being a better mom and wife is honestly just practice. It takes time to become a new and better you, and that’s okay.
Let yourself grow and do better. You’ve got this, Mom 🙂
Feel free to share this article on Pinterest to help other people get ideas for how to be a better mom and wife! Also, I would love to hear your thoughts or ideas in the comments below!