It’s a special day when the grandkids come to grandma and grandpa’s house, and everyone wants to make the most of it!
Which is part of why I made these phrases for you.
Some are more secretly loved than others (and some I’m sure your grandkids will just openly love), but all of them are great for helping kids and teens alike grow into healthy, happy adults.
Because while I’m not yet a grandparent myself, I know the phrases that once helped me. And, I know what what phrases form their grandparents help my children.
So, let’s go ahead and jump in and find some ideas to help you build your grandkids up!
I love you so much, and I’m not ever going to stop.
Children and teens alike need to know that they have your unconditional affection. Sometimes you may disagree, but that doesn’t mean you’ll stop loving them!
In fact, unconditional love from caregivers is shown to give children greater self-esteem and higher life satisfaction. So, don’t hold back in your care for your grandkids!
I’m so proud of how hard you work.
This phraseology is a reflection of Carol Dweck’s famous mindset theory, which teaches that children who are praised for their efforts have greater success and enjoyment in task performance than kids who are praised for their achievements.
Basically, your grandkids (young and old alike) need know you’re proud of their efforts and how they keep trying. What they achieve with it shouldn’t matter!
They’ll achieve plenty if they know the value is in their work ethic and grit, not in their achievements.
Plus, it feels good to be praised for the work you put in to something.
I’m so glad you’re part of our family!
Kids love to be part of something bigger, and science backs the benefits of connecting children to their family history.
I like this phrase because it makes that link while helping the child feel special.
I love you as yourself. You don’t have to pretend to be anything else.
This phrase reflects the concept of unconditional love that I mentioned is so important for children. Kids and teens need to know that they are loved regardless of the mistakes they might make or how they dress or act.
This doesn’t mean inappropriate behavior isn’t corrected. It just means that they know you love them regardless.
I trust you.
Autonomy in psychology is the ability to make one’s own choices. It is vital to success and happiness.
Letting your grandchildren know you trust them conveys respect for their autonomy, and it subtly reminds them of your unconditional love.
It feels good to be trusted.
You’re doing a good job.
This is a classic phrase that my grandparents told me and that I still love to hear! It can be so reassuring to be told that you are accomplishing something.
I think the one thing to keep in mind here is to give this phrase in response to efforts, not a single achievement. That way you reinforce your grandchildren’s growth mindset (and not a fixed mindset).
I like to learn from you.
This one is simple but powerful. Most kids and teens love to feel important, and giving them the opportunity to teach lets them feel that they have something significant to bring to your relationship (which makes your bond stronger!)
Plus, you learn material better by teaching it, so your grandchild will also better understand the things they tell you!
I love how curious you are!
Any compliment is nice to receive, and the great thing about this one is that it is reflective of Carol Dweck’s famous growth mindset. It doesn’t focus on the destination (achievement); it gives value to the journey (curiosity!).
This framework is what will help your grandchildren know that curiosity for curiosity’s sake is what’s valuable—not just the success it might lead to.
Let’s do something fun together.
This one is super simple, but if you remember a grandparent saying it to you as a child, it probably meant a lot!
In one sentence it lets your grandkids know you both value them and that you’re prioritizing them.
Plus, the results are usually enjoyable 🙂
You can tell me anything. I’m just here to listen.
Studies show that adolescents who have another figure to mentor them (outside of their parents) tend to have better self-esteem and better coping measures.
Don’t get me wrong, I think parents are meant to sort-of be the first line of defense for kids (where possible). But I think that we’re also communal creatures and that it’s healthy and good to have outside support too.
This is where you as a grandparent can step in and let your grandkids know that you are always there for them.
I know that when my grandma lived with me as a teen, I was often grateful for her listening ear and shared wisdom! It meant a lot.
You remind me of [insert a family member].
Knowing you are similar (in a positive way) to one of your ancestors is a cool feeling!
And, this point comes back to how children and teens benefit from feeling connected to their family history.
(This study specifically shows how teens who know more of their family history have less anxiety, higher self-esteem, fewer behavioral issues, and more).
I’m sorry.
This is so simple, but it makes grandchildren feel so seen when an adult apologizes to them!
Kids and teens are expected to say sorry for their behavior, but we don’t always hold adults to the same standard.
When you make a mistake and apologize for it, it lets your grandkids know that you hold yourself accountable AND that you see them as a person worth apologizing too.
Also, true, sincere apologizing has been tied to greater relationship satisfaction across generations.
What do you think?
It’s always nice to be asked about your opinion, and it’s healthy for kids and teens to be allowed to express their ideas.
This phrase gives them the chance to do that, and it also gives you a chance to connect with them on their level.
You just haven’t figured it out yet.
It’s hard when you can’t quite “get” something that you want to get. This phrase helps your grandchildren remember that the “not getting it” part isn’t forever.
I love this concept so much because it illustrates how we can all grow and get better, even if it takes time.
Here’s an awesome Ted Talk about this from the famous psychologist, Carol Dweck:
I remember when my family went through something similar. This is how we got through it.
This phrasing is rooted in the benefits of knowing family history. But, it’s also a great way to share advice on how to handle a situation that could be hard for your grandkid.
And, it’s nice for them to hear about someone else who experienced something hard and survived.
I love you no matter what.
This phrase again illustrates the concept of unconditional love. It doesn’t change with time and actions, it just is.
It’s a great, reassuring reminder for your grandkids.
And, personally, I think loving your grandkids this way elps them understand how God loves us. He has standards that he asks us to have, but he loves his children even when they are making less-than-the-best choices.
I just enjoy spending time with you.
This is a good line to say when your Grandkid wants to do something that they know you might not love (but that you’ll do anyway because you want to be with them!).
I love this phrase because it reminds them just how much you care.
Obviously there are sometimes physical limitations for grandparents, but this is about letting them know that you’ll do your best with your abilities to spend time with them.
It’s okay for us to disagree.
As previously mentioned, kids and teens need unconditional love (a lack thereof is shown to cause self-esteem issues, regulation issues, depressive symptoms, and more).
This is an excellent way for you to demonstrate that love. For your grandchild, it will likely be a breath of fresh air.
So many people nowadays aren’t willing to give regard to those who have differences in opinion, and it will be a relief to your child to know that they don’t have to worry about grandma or grandpa.
Let’s be brave together.
Sometimes life throws us curveballs and things can be hard. That’s when you can use this phrase to remind your grandkids that you’re in this together.
After all, it sounds a lot easier to be brave with someone else rather than by yourself
And personally, this is the point when I would remind my grandkids that we can pray to God for help too.
You have my complete attention.
Who doesn’t want to be told that they’ll have the undivided attention of someone who loves them?
And, it turns out that giving your grandkids your total attention is proven to minimize behavioral issues and increase confidence.
Just be sure to follow through and not get distracted!
~
We made it through that list! I hope you enjoyed it.
Grandchildren are an amazing gift and I’m sure you want to do all you can to support them. I wish you all the best in your journey!
Oh, and feel free to comment down below with your grandkid’s favorite phrases!
