This article is kind-of raw for me.
My own, sole surviving grandmother is on her way to likely being diagnosed with dementia in the next few weeks.
And it hurts. She’s not the same person that she once was.
Though, she is sweet and lighthearted because she doesn’t worry about all the things she used to. That’s a plus.
But there’s this raw reality that she’s slipping away, and there are things left unsaid that I regret.
So, if you have a grandparent (or you are one), take this as your sign to talk to them.
Ask them about the things in this article, as well as other things that come to mind. Write it all down or record it.
Because whether you realize it or not, the words and memories passed on from our grandparents are special.
So, snatch them from future oblivion and protect them.
Your future children and grandchildren will thank you.
This is what I wish my grandparents had told me.
What school was actually like
Education is constantly changing—right now we’re in the midst of a war between lots of tech. vs. less tech (and I’m not sure who’s winning).
But back then controversies weren’t about tech. They were about powerful themes like race, discipline, and gender equality.
I can’t help but say “if only” when I think about the stories my grandparents could have told.
(They might have had something to say about the fact hitting with a paddle in school is still legal in 15 states!)
What it was really like living through a war
My VA grandpa didn’t cry.
Except when people talked about war, or Jesus.
Then he would sob—almost uncontrollably—and I knew it was because of what he’d lived through during Vietnam.
But . . . I don’t know the rest of the story.
I desperately wish I did.
Especially now that my husband is in the military too.
The opportunity to ask my grandpa is gone now, though. He passed away almost 10 years ago now.
The truth would’ve been hard to share.
But I believe it was still worth knowing.
How they lived through their toughest moments
Tragedy is heartbreaking. But the story of survival is priceless.
I wonder; what was their greatest test?
How did they hang on through it? Was God their pillar, or was it something else?
I wish I knew.
And frankly, I think the answers our grandparents could have left us would be helpful for navigating the wild west of a world that we face now.
I know the next point would be helpful for sure.
How to get by in lean times
I see SO MANY people in frugal Facebook groups bemoaning the fact that their grandparents didn’t teach them about frugality.
Most older generations lived through lean times. And, they knew what to do to get by.
I wish they wouldn’t deprive the rest of us of that knowledge—it’s very valuable.
Maybe they’re just waiting for us to ask.
I wish I’d asked.
How they met their spouse (every detail!)
We always hear about how our parents met.
At least, I know I have—probably about 772.3 times (Okay, I’m just kidding about the .3. And, I don’t mind the 772 times.)
But, did you ever hear how your grandparents met?
I haven’t! At least not in detail.
I’ve heard snippets though, and they make my heart melt.
If you still have your grandparents around, ask what made them first swoon over their spouse. Find out where they went on their first date.
Discover how quickly they were engaged!
And be sure to record it! (More on that in my next point.)
What their childhood was like
I wish I knew more about my grandparent’s childhoods.
How did they become who they were?
What did they play with?
Who were their friends?
DId they have pets?
Frankly, I’m also curious about the parenting methods they used back in the day.
So many people say things about childhood decades ago . . . but it’s one thing to read it, and another to hear it from a grandparent’s lips.
If you want to record this in a special way, try using a grandparent’s journal book. This one is for grandmas, and this one is for grandpas (I’m thinking of getting some like this).
Alternatively, type up responses in a digital document so it can be printed and easily shared with lots of family members!
How they earned money (from the beginning to the end of their life)
It’s laughable how many videos, shorts, and posts there are out there for “get-rich-quick” schemes.
(though, there is a place for side-hustles—don’t get me wrong).
But what about grandma and grandpa? What did they do for a living before having children, and how did they bring in extra cash?
I wish I’d thought to ask my grandparents about this.
I know my one grandpa especially was a decent business man.
I wonder what tips he would have given me.
How to cook food that’s truly delicious (you MUST get specific recipes!!)
Remember those happy, golden meals at grandma and grandpa’s house?
I’d be shocked if you told me one time that the food wasn’t amazing.
(Though, I do know that everyone’s grandma is different).
My husband specifically reminisces about the cream puffs and eclairs his grandma made.
And I regret not trying my grandpa’s grilled snails.
So if you’re grandparents are still able, try and get some cooking lessons from them!
They’ll teach you tricks that will bless you the rest of your life.
And, whether they can give you lessons or not, be sure and get recipes!
(Maybe even some of the ones they used when they moved out—see my next point!)
What it was like when they moved out on their own
Nowadays, we hear funny stories of college students dyeing all their clothes pink or living on ramen noodles.
But what was it like then?
Did they live at home for schooling? Did they even go to school? Were they married when they moved out for the first time?
Is it possible that they, too, subsisted on ramen? (According to reddit’s “Ask Old People” forum it’s been around since the 60s or 70s.)
You’ll have to ask your grandparents to find out for sure.
And perhaps they’ll give you pass on some helpful tips for the next generation of college students.
Who the people are in their old photos
You’ve seen those old photos with rows and rows of gray faces . . . and no names to go with them.
Don’t let that happen to your grandparent’s pictures.
Ask them about each person and who they were.
Find out about the memories behind each snapshot.
If you can, record their stories with an audio recorder and write down the names of the people.
You might even find you have some features in common with a family member that you didn’t know you had!
How they kept their faith strong
This knowledge may not be important to everyone (And I’m not judging).
But many grandchildren of faith wish they had the wisdom of their grandparents when it comes to belief in God.
How did they continue to believe in spite of it all; in spite of the world’s voices, and in spite of bad things still happening?
Grandparent’s insights are valuable, and if you’re a grandparent, be sure and share or write down specifics about what kept you firm.
Sometimes those concrete habits are just what your grandkids need if their belief wanes.
What health conditions they and other family members were diagnosed with
This is a drier, but extremely practical and helpful topic to know about, because the health conditions your family has can impact your risk for medical issues down the road.
Get the facts.
However, be sure and also get the story.
If someone in your grandparent’s family had cancer, find out what it was like for those involved.
If someone suffered from paralysis or disablement, find out what they did to function and find purpose.
You might learn some important lessons that could assist you down the road.
(And the same is true of our next topic!)
How to DIY stuff around the house
Many grandparents are secretly pros at DIYing stuff.
They sew, fix plumbing, decorate, do woodwork, and more.
And we’re all over here trying to YouTube it for hours and hours. 👀
So, if you have a grandparent around, ask them to teach you how to fix up a car or patch clothes.
You never know how soon it’ll come in handy!
What [insert possessions] mean and where they came from
Growing up, my grandma’s and grandpa’s homes were treasure troves of knick-knacks and curios.
They may have needed some help decluttering . . . but, they also had some great stories to tell about certain items.
I remember wooden masks from south Africa (acquired on my grandparent’s once-in-a-lifetime vacation).
However, I also remember gorgeous, original ceramic figurines and the beautiful porcelain.
But I don’t know the stories behind them. I wish I’d asked.
The attributes they most admire in their children and grandchildren
I think this is the most important point on this list.
Because, even though everything else is interesting and important, few things have as much of an impact as a grandparent’s love.
More than anything, I wish I had a written record of what my grandparents liked about me. I’d love to look at it.
It would remind me of them.
And, it would help me better believe in myself.
So if you’re a grandparent, please be sure to record what you admire about your grandchildren.
(And check out my other post about things grandparents should say to their grandchildren.)
Memories are heavy, but they’re worth carrying
That’s the end of our list.
But it’s not the end of our story.
One day we’ll age too. And, our grandkids will wish they knew more about us.
So, we can do our part to record our grandparent’s stories. And, we can record our own.
Drop by drop, step by step, so that the well of our family’s past doesn’t ever dry up.
Because the past is worth knowing. After all, it’s as Teddy Roosevelt said: “The more you know about the past, the better prepared you are for the future.”
So grandparents, tell us your stories.
